She was kind of an acquaintance, or maybe more. But she wasn’t really a friend. Every once in a while I’d throw a “hello” or “hi” her way, expecting a response. Sometimes it came sometimes it did not. I knew I would not be able to put up with this for so long, so I waited for that last straw that’d break the camels back. Well it came.
I sent her a friendly message, saying, “happy new month. God’s best for you this new month.” anybody with a brain should be able to reply with a “decent” response. But her reply found a way to shock me. It said, “HNM”.
I was astonished! HNM?! what’s that supposed to mean. Was that supposed to be the younger cousin of s2u? Was I supposed to feel better than when she sent me two “Ks”.
Or maybe it was not about me or her. Maybe i was just slow to catching up on new trends. And that was it. It was like I had been put to sleep for one hundred years only to find out that trends have changed.
And yes they have!
Twitter is the new bar
Facebook the new bathroom wall
Instagram the new runway
Razz is the new cool
Crazy is the new cute
Skinny the new anorexic
Obese is the new thick
virgin is the new prudish
non-virgin the new slut
friendly the new fake,
quiet the new rude.”
Twerking is the new mating dance.
Looking forward to the hassles of raising a child is the new birth control.
Talking is the new shouting
Texting is the new talking.
“k” is the new I think you are boring.
“lol” is the new, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying any attention.
Gtg is the new I don’t want to talk to you anymore so I’m just going to pretend I’m offline.
“ROTFLMFAO” is the new I just forced a little more air out of my nose.
“;-) ” is the new, I want the D.
” :D” is the new I want the D now.
“HBD LLNP” is the new Facebook just reminded me it’s your birthday, not like I really cared.
HNM is the new happy new month to someone I don’t give a rat’s ass about.
S2u is the new thanks for trying to be friendly but, still no.
“aww” is the new, kindly return to the friend zone which you just tried to escape from.
Kk is the new wrap it up.
And so, kk, HNM.